An Omen

My mom was short messaging me 5 days ago
She said," Don't you worry the heavy and weary load. As long as you stick to the right direction, you'll surely arrive at your destination"

Aaah mommy how did you know?

The day before she even called me right before my tears started to fall. Right after I asked Lord, why so much pain, and whined that I don't have anyone to turn to. That's when my cell phone rang.

It was my mom, saying she couldn't sleep because she felt that there was something wrong, and that very something was on me. A clairvoyance, and every mother is a clairvoyant, they say once. I believe in such things and that such thing is beyond my life's triviality. As I recall I never experience a clairvoyant unless you categorized whimsical thought as one of these. But here it is, a sudden call from my mom (she accused me that I failed the TOTAL GS interview ... aha!! another clairvoyant to be revealed by the end of Feb 2010).

From womb to tomb, they say. A child is attached to his/her mother, physically in her womb for a certain times, simulating the same heart beat which will follow them till the last earthly resort, the tomb.

Well, as for the conversation, I, of course pretended that everything's alright least to make her worrier. I talked about my boring job, another sudden responsibility from my professor. But she knows me too well. I think she sensed my perplexity so she suggested me to do some serious writing, not to hunt job (I know, she wanted me to find a descent job, but she didn't even mention it). Writing... mom really knows her daughter.

I miss her...

Death and All His Friends

Death is a distant rumor to the young. ~Andrew A. Rooney

Introducing Pak Jumari, a clerk who has been working for UGM for more than 20 years. He's now counting down his pensioner time. Pak Jum doesn't have much work to fuss about (not like me :p ). He arrives at 7 o'clock, opens all the doors, switches on all the ACs, and does some mere cleanings. Occasionally during the day, he goes to the kitchen to do some dishes while chatting with one or two friends. Sometimes, TURT (Households and correspondence) will call him to do cleanings in other part of this big office. But most of the times, I find him lazying around or sleeping.

There's one thing Pak Jum frequently do in which I find I begin to develop a curiosity. Going to funeral. It is so often that one of his friends or relatives calls him (I handle all his calls now, like his own secretary) to inform that another friends or relatives of them died and are buried. He then will begin to give me a iffy explanations and lame details, and off he goes!

Sometimes, I wonder how many funerals can one attend during one's life? Well as I can recall during this 11 months of working here, Pak Jum had attended 10 funerals more or less. One funeral for one month. I remembered, it was probably in the mid of April, when Pak Jum attended 3 funerals in just two weeks. WOW!!! The deceased were his neighbors and it involved some ordinary mystical belief -a sort of competition between nearby cemeteries-.

Anyway, though I sometimes sceptically accept his reasoning for leaving the office -which might be an excuse for him to skip the day I suspect (but who can blame him -his work is totally mundane-)- I feel myself unable to forbid him to leave, or to just question his excuse -even if I want it, even if there is a solid ground to suspect him. In his age, no one can question a reasoning of one friend's death and funeral to take a day off.

Death, die, dying, dead, in Pak Jum age, are trite events and wordings. I think Pak Jum has accustomed to death and with every respect to him, Pak Jum might have lived it to the point where it resound nothing extraordinary. Is it had to be related to age? Well, though I have to admit that every one, each of us, lives our life with death floating in the air, aging makes one is prone to sickness, casualty, degradation, and therefore nearer to death.

Ah, this is quite a scary topics, but as someone says ( I forget who), you haven't lived until you think of death constantly :)

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Take A Bow For You

Life is crazy
and you've been living it so well

you do the jump with borrowed skateboard
learn the geek softwares and to plug the LAN Cable
you even master the red hat linux
and show your own tofu- salad dressing skill

you study 14 different lessons in a week
biology, math, physics, sociology, and party
you survive more tiesan 20s too-sweet-birthday cake
and manage your chin up for forgotten birthdays

so congratulations
you need to take a bow for yourself

you prove yourself able to accomplish all the deadlines
while keeping up with the news and the gossips
and when you screw all the tests
you hold on to yourself

in your life that somehow went nowhere
you retain from killing yourself
even take time to be a devoted blogger
life's like a messy room, but still you find a place to sleep

so congratulations
you need to take a bow for yourself

you buy the needles, do the knitting
and give a sweater to beloved one
the one you soon realize philandering
!! but somehow you chill out and enjoy your ice cream time

you pass all the hots and cools
flu, fevers, measles, and some psychosomatic symptoms
with or without Prozac

so congratulations
you need to take a bow for yourself

you lurk yourself inside cabinet
to meet your schizophrenic need
but never let away for too long your breath

yesterday someone hit you
and others hissed behind you
life is so rough and so 'grrrr'
but that's what those self-help books for

so congratulations
you need to take a bow for yourself

you do the aikido and research well
and your friend got invited to the government gala dinner
while your ex enjoying the sight of big apple
you pass jealousy and hatred
with or without tear

you survive all the lust world serve you
without losing your sanity and desire
and miyabi doesn't get the best of you
you've done your self definition so far

so congratulations
you need to take a bow for yourself

learn how to not over do make up
to make a diorama for some reasons you wonder why
learn how to sing in a choir to savvy the state of world's security
learn how to survive never-ending job interviews
to force a smile when the answer is sorry
learn how to best adapt to awkward situations
to recycle worn out dating series

learn sometimes life's so unkind
and your journey stuck in between reality and dream
that you blew out so many good changes
and ended up with wrong choices
maturity doesn't resound anything real to you
and your parents keep nagging at you
but you manage to survive those rounds

so congratulations
you need to take a bow for yourself

we need to take a bow for you
shall we ?